A Weight Loss Story - Part 4

The weight was becoming an issue for me and my self esteem was in the dumps. If you have been there you know what I am talking about. I just kept ignoring my feelings and the issues surrounding them and kept packing on the pounds. I went for a 29 inch waist to a 36 in waist pretty quickly after things began to get difficult for me personally. I saw it in the mirror but ignored it an justified it with too much work, not enough time for myself and lack of money for the gym. Hey, I was a dad of two kids tight? Every excuse that I could muster was on hand every time I looked in the mirror.

Once I started thinking about how to lose weight again, I began looking at the easy options first. I knew that some of them would not work well and some were a bit dangerous as well. Then a little drug called phentermine came onto the scene. It was great! I gave appetite control and a huge burst of energy as well. Basically it was speed. I dropped the weight ten pounds per week at a time. I got back down to weight in a month. I was pumped.

Then the unforeseen happened. I stopped losing and started gaining again. My appetite was out of control and the phentermine was making me lose sleep. I had to take more and more of the drug to keep the feeling of higher energy constant and to depress my appetite. It affected my libido and GI functions. I used laxatives to offset my eating and I was under eating in an effort to stay thin. This went on for a few years. People began dying from the use of this drug and they FDA pulled it from shelves in the US.

No more magic pill and I crashed hard. My metabolism was totally upside down and could not get used to the real world again. I put the weight I lost back on in less than three weeks and twenty more pounds followed over the next month. I was 250lbs now and I thought less of myself than ever. My married life stunk big time and my work life was being impacted constantly by my physical condition. I was tired and sick all the time. I thought after a while that was how I would feel forever, I got used to it.

The next attempt....

A weight Loss Story - Part 3

I stayed lean and trim for a few years and then the stresses started to mount. All at once there were two children, a mortgage, a car payment and tons of other bills piling up after I had worked so hard to get them down. The money I was making was well above average but I still wanted more. More things, more freedom, more!

My second wife and I began to fight over spending. Time alone was a nonexistent luxury in our home. We were apart for work and the occasional happy hour but nothing else. Kids, bills and each other dominated the scene. It was about this time I really started to gain weight. I put on ten pounds pretty fast just by cutting out the workouts. I began feeling bad about my body image. I became a bit depressed. I started eating more.

I ate the wrong things. My second was is a very good mexican cook and she spared no calories in my pursuit of heaviness. Time was short before I had put on thirty five pounds. I bought new pants and other clothes to deal with my girth. I felt bad about myself but I chose to ignore it.

My married life was getting harder and harder. My second wife and I disagreed on spending, my parents,  bills, alone time, chores and anything else under the sun. I dealt with issues by pushing them down and hiding my feelings. Times were tough and only getting tougher. My caring nature made me want to fix everything but I couldn't. Unfortunately what I did not realize was that my physical, mental and spiritual degradation was also degrading my relationship and my life.

The weight comes off... Partially

A Weight Loss Story - Part 2

I was partying, dating, chasing girls and having a great time. I had just met a really great girl after a really difficult breakup with my first wife. You see, my first wife walked out on me after two years exactly. Yes exactly two years. How do I know it was exactly two years you may be wondering? Well... She left me on the day of our second anniversary. I came home with flowers expecting to find her there and instead found an empty (everything was gone except the heavy stuff) place with a note by the phone.

Initially, I though I had been robbed. I was frantic to think that someone had broken in and apparently my wife was stolen as a part of the robbery. I went to the phone to call police and found a note. It read... "I have left you and I took Boots." Boots was our cat. My heart sank. I immediately picked up the phone and called her parents to see if I could speak to her. She had a really close relationship with her mom. Her dad answered and confirmed... "Yes David, she has left you and that's that." Click

I was floored. I began to find out that my financial situation was much worse than I had thought. My bank account was empty and three months of bills had piled up including car payments and rent. The next day there was a pile of unopened credit card bills that I did not know existed delivered via USPS. I found out more than I wanted to know after that about the financial issues that went on during my first marriage. I moved back to my home town in order to be closer to my parents and help them as well as to try and recover financially.

I was depressed and sad for a long time. Then I started getting into the scene again. There was a lot of drinking and dating going on. I met my second wife through a mutual friend of mine. She seemed fun, full of life and very caring. At that time in my life, that was exactly what I needed. We kissed the second time we met and it went from there. We were together three months when she told me the news about being pregnant. I was scared, but I knew the right thing to do for me was to marry her and get down to raising a family. We agreed then, as young people do, for her to say home and take care of the home and family while i sought employment and took care of the financial issues. That arrangement lasted into our second year of marriage.

I stayed in very good shape until that point on my life. My job was weighing on me due to working more than seventy hours per week. Things were less than illustrious as two young people making a new life together. By this time we had our second child and were sufficiently tired and broke. My energy started to wane. My gym membership was becoming a financial burden on the family and it was getting to be very hard to take the time to work out on top of everything else. My wife was disenchanted and life became very arduous.

The weight began to pack on... To be Continued

A Weight Loss Story - Part 1

I am going to tell you the story of a sad, sick and extensively overweight man and show you how that man became a happy, healthy and extensively fit man. This story starts with a man at the age of 26 years old that was newly divorced and had moved back to his home town due to the financial issues that came with his past relationship and his decisions from the past two years. This is my story. I hope it helps you.

It was a beautiful June in Colorado that year.  I had just gone through a very bad divorce. My wife of two years left me flat broke in an over priced condo in Albuquerque, NM with an empty bank account and a ton of past due bills and rent payments to reckon with just one month before. I was still trying to get my feet underneath me and figure out my next moves. I had gotten a job and was starting to get into the singles scene again. It seemed fun. I was 26 and had a few bucks so I was a pretty descent catch. I was divorced though and I quickly realized that came with its own set of challenges.

I was healthy and in great shape. I ran several miles everyday without exception and worked out consistently at the local YMCA. I weighed 185 pounds and had a body fat content of about 10%. I am 6'-2" tall and blond. I was in a prime state when I entered the dating scene. That started to be an issue about two months into the scene as I was drinking too much and had not slept correctly for a long time. Chasing girls and having fun can be hard work.

Then I met my soon to be second wife.

To be continued.....

Finding the Good in All Situations - Part 4

No Nonsense Approach:

Be careful to look for the good in all situations that you avoid undue stress, anxiety and possible damage to relationships and your spirit. Take a second to center yourself through self soothing and go through the experience knowing that you have exactly what you need and are perfect just as you are in that moment. Whatever happens does not affect who or what you are.

Finding the Good in All Situations - Part 3

The ironic part of this whole story is that during all of this mayhem I received opportunities to sell services from a business that I had been apart from for several years and also had the opportunity to begin developing content that I was passionate about for the internet that was still paying $300-$1000 per month after two years of no activity on my part. I was contacted and am in negotiations now with a promoter that wants me to write a book and go on a speaking tour. I was able to procure legal help that is resolving the issues with my past employer in my favor. I finally woke up and saw that the time had obviously come to part ways with my past employer so I could pursue other opportunities. It took me two months and many sleepless nights to figure that out. I am lucky. I feel like I had a valuable experience and that it has given me the spiritual strength to continue my journey. Hopefully this story will help you to recognize this when it happens and not two months of stress.

Finding the Good In All Situations - Part 2

I recently went through a situation that placed a ton of stress on me. It was all encompassing to me at the time and as a result of this I made it all encompassing to those around me. This created stress, tension, angst and morose amongst my loved ones and friends. My lack of ability to soothe myself caused me to look outside of myself for that satiation. As you might expect, the soothing from friends and loved ones only went so far. After a while, I lost strength at the core of myself. I started to question myself. Then I started to question those around me. I questioned their love and devotion. I questioned why they were behaving so poorly towards me. It caused a lot of unneeded tension and sadness for everyone involved.  It was not until the mistakes had been made that I finally realized through the help of a very special friend that I love dearly what was occurring was not anyone's wrongdoing or unsympathetic action. It was in fact my constant drawing upon others to satiate my ego. In thinking that others were disappointed or walking out on relationships, I created an illusion in my mind that almost became my reality with several of my relationships. Damage occurred in relationships that I am responsible for fixing and working through.